Can we dare to pause???

Pause is that which reveals the grey areas, which makes the contrasts more visible, which wakes one up or puts one to sleep. It is a stepping stone for one who wants to rise up and that which holds one from falling down.

Do you remember those days when tape recorders used to have forward, rewind, stop, record, play and pause buttons. Applying these functions to life in this information era it is clear that we no more have control over what we can choose to play, nor stop ourselves from hearing to what is being played around. Neither every rewind gives us the same record nor every prediction of forward times the same. We could record things as they are happening, but no guarantee that they will remain the same the next minute in these dynamically changing times. I think the only control we have in our hands is the “pause” button.

When the months of November or December seem like midyear; or when last weekend just seem like yesterday while tomorrow is the next weekend already; When you feel that your two month baby in no time started going to kindergarten; when your bank account balance suddenly seems too less than you expected it to be; when your birthday this year seems to have come too soon; or when everything seems to be going wrong; or when we don’t seem to have any clue of what are the start and end points of something; each of these is an illusion caused due to lack of enough pauses.

Pause is that which reveals the grey areas, which makes the contrasts more visible, which wakes one up or puts one to sleep. It is a stepping stone for one who wants to rise up and that which holds one from falling down. It is a time for review. It is a time for a new plan. It is the time to see where we came from and the time to decide the direction in which to proceed.  Pause is a time when one should go deaf only to hear one’s self more clearly. It is a moment where one should go blind only to enable oneself to see new things or to see same things differently. Pause is a pause to past regrets and a stop to future regrets.

We might not always need new rules or new laws for old and new problems. What if in the first place we didn’t identify the problems rightly? We need not always run to reach our goal. What if our goal itself is wrong? We need not always follow someone just because there was only one track. What if it doesn’t take us anywhere? What if at any point the only way out is to pause? But I think we humans somehow do not have the skill to pause or at the least the ability to think of pausing. May be no one told us that to pause is an action in itself. Our failure to pause when the time is still ripe might never let us to take a pause even if the situation demands. Does this strike any bell? Don’t you think our problem of pollution and the lack of solutions for it is a consequence of our failure to pause?   

Do you think I am saying that we should put a stop to all the development and go back to the dark ages or that by pausing I mean inaction or idleness? No, not at all. Lighting a candle and then leaving it to fight with the wind before it gets blown off is stupidity. But taking a pause to make arrangements to protect the flame before lighting the candle is wisdom. We all read the ‘the hare and the tortoise’ story and we also know the moral by heart ‘slow and steady wins the race’ yet we almost always follow the hare. I wonder why !!! Should we mistake tortoise’s steadiness to be idleness or we should think that it kept gathering its strength for a longer journey ahead by taking enough pauses?

In a world where uncertainty is the only guarantee, where the unknown unknowns (in the words of Donald Rumsfeld) rule over the known knowns, sometimes a pause is a better solution than any action. As the world is getting smaller and smaller the butterfly effect will be more intense. I can pin point instances from our day to day lives to world politics where a simple pause would have made our personal and universal worlds a better place to live in. But I don’t want to. 

I only want to highlight the fact that a pause could be as small as taking time off a busy schedule to take a deep breath or as striking as questioning something before believing. It could be an effort to break a ritual or a stigma to offer alternative narratives or it could be as big a deal as taking a pause before starting a war. I just want to inculcate the idea of pause, emphasize its need and power. Let us take a pause and see !!!

Draupadi - Devil or a Darling ?

In a society where honour was and is seen as the utmost important thing a woman should live or die for, what wrong is it if Draupadi pulls the string to the extent of a war.

It so happened while driving on busy roads of Delhi that my driver (trainer) mentioned about "women"driving. "It's all because of these women. They drive as they wish, rushing madly through the gaps". Whenever he made this comment, he almost always immediately (came very naturally to him as if it was hardwired in his brain) passed another comment on women, saying - "wars were fought 'for' women and 'because'of women. Many empires fell cause of them. You see, in Ramayana it was Sita and in Mahabharat it was Draupadi." Oh, it didn't shock me as that wasn't the first time I heard such an opinion. It comes naturally to an average Indian mind (both male and female). May be it is in the way in which the stories from epics were told. Or may be it is the most easiest way to understand a situation, conveniently ignoring various nuances in the story.

Two things to note here are - one,  tales from epic like Mahabharat tuned our opinions in a particular way. Two, it almost always taken for certain that an alternative view cannot exist. But what surprises me is neither of the two. Though Draupadi did fight to uphold her honour and avenge injustice, how the society managed to propagate the wrong message for centuries. Instead of appreciating her character for giving a tough fight, she has been accused as being the main driving force for the war. 

In a society where honour was and is seen as the utmost important thing a woman should live or die for, what wrong is it if Draupadi pulls the string to the extent of a war. Also, it is not that simple. There were multiple characters, varied vested interests, power struggles, ego clashes, fight for name and fame, etc which played a role in the final war. Why did we give a clean chit to all other characters?

Why is that the greatest warrior of the times, and the man of his word, Bhishm usually not accused to have let many misdeeds happen right under his nose. In the guise of guarding his vow, to protect the throne of Hastinapur, or for reasons unknown he never stood by Draupadi. What message is Acharya Drona giving us, who spent more than half his life avenging against King Drupad. May be he is telling us how ego should be pursued at any cost. The writer of the epic himself, Vyasa, seemed to have lost the plot somewhere as he failed to convey the message that the insult hurled at Draupadi is unacceptable. The blind king, Drutarashtra, is the culprit behind power and money struggles in many of the Indian families till date. He should be blamed to have not accepted his fate and for not being just with his brother's sons.

Why don't an average Indian naturally tend to accuse Karna for being a mute spectator during Draupadi vastraharan, and during Abhimanyu's death in the Padmavyuh? We only remember him for his loyalty, selflessness and sacrifice. Most importantly Pandavas themselves are not usually accused for their faults. Yudhistir, Dharam Raj, should have been ideally blamed for setting a trend for all those drunkards, gamblers and wife beaters (They might be honest to the core when sober). And his brothers, are more known to be loyal followers of elder brother rather than as those who forgone their wife's honour and self respect. Finally, the Lord Shri Krishn, a very close friend of Draupadi, portrayed as the sole protector of her, also tried to pacify Draupadi at various stages in order to convince her to cool down.

As we get into the nitty gritties of the story, there is no end to this blame game. No character is perfect. The so called Lord Himself, Shri Krishn, should have been notorious for cheating in the war. I might have sounded so far as if Draupadi has got nothing to be blamed for. Wrong. She too has enough on her plate. She insulted Karna in her swayamvar, she laughed at Dhuryodhan when he slipped into an illusive water fountain in her Maya Sabha and never apologised for any of her deeds. She was known for her arrogance and stubbornness. She has both negatives and positives in her, just like any other character in the story. However, her character seems to have been made the victim of her own blemishes. I also believe that Kunti and Gandhari should also be accused of not standing by their daughter-in-law. They symbolise all those women who consciously or subconsciously are responsible for perpetuating patriarchy in the society.

While on the one hand, Draupadi's honour was at stake and on the other none in her close circles seem to be understanding her plait. I don't see what other options she had other than fighting all alone and by vowing a revenge. I personally experienced this phenomenon in many Indian families, where mothers discourage their daughters to let their hair loose, as it is believed that they bring in disgrace, dishonour and bad luck to the family (just as Draupadi did, when she vowed to let her hair loose till she avenges her insult). We should instead appreciate her for fighting in a male dominated society in many a ways. She was the only female character in the entire story, who has a male friend (Shri Krishn). She was the only one, again, to have dared to reveal her feelings for another male (towards Karna). She was far ahead of her times, in not just accepting polyandry (fivehusbands) but for striving to be what she really is, free and honest, in a cage like society.

My aim is not to find faults with each of the characters, no doubt they are all great in their own ways. My idea is two fold, one I am just trying to highlight how one sided, how biased our story telling has been. Just to enable the readers to appreciate my point better, I would like to draw parallels between Mahabharat story telling in our country and a recent phenomemon, an epic like series Game of Thrones. Almost every character in it is shown from more than one angle. It would let the audience think in various dimensions. Two, how stories heard and told over centuries, impact our every day life. This is just one story, there might be many more stories and characters propagating misconceptions in the society.  Just imagine where our society would have headed had Mahabharat started on the note - 'There lived a Princess Draupadi, stunned the world by being born unexpectedly in a yagna, but later realised to have born for a cause. Born to beat the stereotype in the society and to wage war against injustice'. We would never know ! 

am in Andaman !!!

            Sometimes the resistance from within to leave a place for another, can be so high that we tend to speak and think of only the negative things that might end up happening. Now I get the word, it is "inertia". I was in that state before leaving for Andaman and Nicobar for navy attachment (part of my training). Not that I don't like travelling it was just that the pull factors were more intense than push ones.

First three days are gone in "trying" to learn something and "trying" to find places and moments of joy just to keep myself going. High moments of the day used to be less than normal - which included some learning regarding Indian Navy, playing in the beach, a food for thought from a book etc. Just when my boredom was about to overtake me completely, my patience started to pay back. Everything has its own time and place. How could I even think of living those moments whose time hasn't come. On the last day of my visit, in retrospect I could definitely say I had my share of take aways from the Island.

First  such moment was on Havelock Island. There, Radhanagar Beach was one of the most beautiful and finest beaches I have ever been to. The sand is so smooth that one can run on it only to feel the cushion underneath one's feet. The water was so clear with a marvelous mix of shades of green with thin white foam. The waves though huge are soothing and melodious. There was no sign of a single stone or a rock on the site. At 12 in the noon there were hardly anyone else playing in the beach, but there were a couple of foreigners, sitting in the shade and enjoying the view.

My second high of the trip turned out to be the biggest learning I had through out it. This was when we visited an island called 'Baara Tanga' on the way to which one can get a chance to see a few Jarawas. Though it was not in our tour plan, I insisted that we should visit the place, to find first hand answers to many questions which have been lingering in my mind for so long. Since, my days in Kalahandi, where I worked closely with a few tribes, such questions frequented my mind, like - what is the ideal way to deal with the tribals and their development?, What is tribal "development" in the first place?, Is it "good" for tribals to be integrated into so called "main stream"? Who should be "responsible" and "accountable" for act effecting tribals in any way? .. so on.. and so forth...  This particular tussle in my mind deserves a new post (sooner, asap may be)

Till then, I can share my little experience during my passage through Jarawas Reserve Territory (JRT). We started off from Port Blair at 4:30 am in the morning in order to reach Jirkatang, a panchayat in southern Andaman. This itself was pricking my heart every now and then during the journey, as we "planned" for it.. planned to see co-humans living in their natural habitat, leading their lives as normally (more naturally than any of us from so called civilized society) as any of us. Is it that they live in a world different from mine or that they live differently in the same world I live in - cant say for sure what made me go there. From Jirkatang, a convoy with police in the front started as per scheduled time. Before setting off for this journey I did not expect anything nor imagine anything as to how the experience is going to be. But as the convoy started my imagination started going wild. This was mostly because we were told that Jarawas would be seen on both sides of the road we ride on, who come out of their houses. The convoy started and like a child moving his head along a with the motion of a moving pendulum, to and fro, I started moving my head left and right, left and right trying to "spot" Jarawas. 

I am not very proud of using the word "spot", but yes that was precisely what was happening there. Soon our driver said "there, on ur left, behind, one is sitting"..., I quickly turned but missed him. As we moved on, since the driver was not allowed to slow down his vehicle, he used to quickly tell us "there, there a bunch of them sitting" and when I turned slowly to my left.. there, they sat a family. A man, a woman and a child, the couple sitting with their backs leaned onto a slab and the child in between them. In that quick pass, I could see them for only a few seconds. In those few seconds, my eyes picked up three things - a greyish ash like colour smudged on pure black (their skin tone), a small piece of red cloth covering the essential body parts and the look in their eyes. 

The look in their eyes and the posture in which they sat, hinted a kind of "indifference and duty". I didn't understand why would any one sit like that as if in leisure on the side of a road with fast moving cars, with thick jungle on both the sides. My guilt has gone deeper and my curiosity higher by then. My curiosity was not to "spot" more but to know why why why, why would they come and sit there like that. As the car moved on, I kept my head still on left side alone and soon, a little inside behind a tree, there sat another group of men. This time, they were a little far off, but something unique I saw. A man in regular clothing and a different complexion, a non jarawa, was standing next to the jarawas group. Oh oh oh !!! There the chain of questions went on and on in my mind.. and instigated many thoughts in me. I do not know much neither about the jarawas nor the issues concerning them. Hope to update myself by my next post on the topic. 

The third moment was yet an other world, like my second one. Truly natural world, the marine life in the sea, when I got an opportunity to do open sea diving, close to North Bay Island. The experience was too good to be true. It was like finding oneself in the middle of colourful marine life in the movie Finding Nemo. Just that this time it was too good to be true. The site of beautiful small fishes, schools of large fish, live corals gives one not only an eye treat but also shows in a small way that we know nothing or very little about "other worlds". I feel incapable to put in words that amazing beauty which gave me immense inexplicable joy. One should experience it for oneself... 

So, it wasn't as bad after all? May be. It did leave me with questions, thoughts, feelings, ideas and what not... !