Showing posts with label darkness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label darkness. Show all posts

Friday, May 22, 2020

D for Donkey.... D for Darkness...


            
The wonder was that it took thousands of miles of journey away from home, almost three decades of one’s life to learn that donkeys are not what we think they are, but something else too… 


There is a saying in Arabic which translates to – ‘seek knowledge even if you have to go as far as China’. Though its origin, meaning and context are debated upon, two things stood out for me. One, the distance one may/can/should travel in quest for knowledge. Two, the very search for knowledge. Meaning, the knowledge readily available at hand with us may or may not be true. And so, it is a constant search for knowledge which includes both learning and unlearning.

Today I am going to tell you a story which highlights the above two points. It is a travel story (distance) and it involves learning and unlearning (knowledge). Was I traveling in search of knowledge? No. I just happened to experience some things, the visuals of which are going to stay for quite a long time with me. And no points for guessing that the story has donkeys and darkness in it. J Remember those early days in your life where you had to repeat A for Apple, B for blah blah…. & D for Donkey… ?!?! I am sure you do.

Since the time I was introduced to a donkey, never heard an adult speak anything but ill of it. I have always heard it being used to refer to (ahem.. to scold) children and adolescents who are lazy, dull and slow; to mock down someone  for his or her donkey-like voice – braying, hee-haw, hee-haw; ‘Parading on a donkey’ is a humiliating and an insulting form of punishment across many cultures. Even in slightly positive sounding expression like ‘I’ve been working like a donkey’ the focus is on the unpleasant, menial, bone breaking hard work for long hours rather than on patience, endurance or for that matter anything remotely positive.

My story dates back to February 2018 (excuse the donkey in me, for procrastinating publishing this post for more than 2 years) during my visit to Petra, Jordan - one of the seven new wonders of the world. For those who can relate it is the very site in which Indiana Jones finds the Holy Grail in the film Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Located in between Red and Dead Seas, this vast red sandstone landscape is half-built and half-carved into the rock. It is surrounded by rocky textured mountains pervaded by passages and gorges (photo).




My husband and I had a flight to catch the next day and so all we were left to explore this vast place was just half a day. Though we were told it takes at least a day to explore important spots and a maximum of 3-4 days to see the place thoroughly, we were determined to tick off yet another wonder of the world and set out to make the most of the half-a-day we had. Reaching there hungry and tired after a 3-hour long drive by road from Amman (Capital of Jordan), we quickly hopped on to horses thinking they will give us a quick parade of the place. Shockingly the horses abandoned us right at the inside entrance beyond which they were not allowed.

After walking for quite a long distance exploring the narrow gorges, carved rocks, a roman theatre, sand art artifacts, temple on a hill and surveying the vast hilly red sandstone landscape, we knew that it was time to go as we were nearing the closing hours. But then, in a desperate attempt to see more in the short span remaining, I inquired from a fellow tourist about the one thing that is worth seeing and should not be missed for anything. He pointed towards a monastery located high up on a hill, the view from which will be breath-taking he said. But there is a caveat here, it usually takes 75 to 90 minutes to hike the hill by foot :/ which we didn’t have.

Just then, two men – Mahmoud and Adil (names changed) approached us claiming to be our saviors and breakers of our dilemma – to head ahead or to head back. They said “believe us .. we can take you up the hill on our donkeys and leave you at the exit in reasonable time”. I was taken over by FOMO (Fear of Missing out) not just the monastery and the view from there but most importantly the donkey ride. I was excited to take my first donkey ride, which was literally going to be a steep up-hill task. My husband was a little hesitant at first to take this long bumpy ride uphill fearing for our backs, fading light and the chances of us getting trapped behind closed doors. Nevertheless, he agreed and there we were on our first donkey rides.

There was a visible strong bond and a deep understanding between Mahmoud and Adil.  They knew each other for years. Mahmoud was more speak-your-heart kind of a person and Adil was let-silence-speak type. Both of them speak English so well. Not only English, they even picked up some Japanese (at least that was what they said they were speaking when they blabbered something in Japanese). The to-journey conversation was mostly trivial touristy talk. 

Thankfully, the donkeys didn’t seem to share such an affiliation for each other (at least at the outset) and so are not disturbed or distracted by their masters’ constant chitter chatter. At times, the masters even let the donkeys loose, we the ‘riders’ were worried especially when the donkeys tend to sway towards the edges of the pathway, by the sides of which were low lying areas. We were amazed by not just the agility with which the donkeys climbed the steps but also the strength of the lungs of the two masters who were all the while walking uphill along side the donkeys.

Finally, we reached a point on the hill beyond which donkeys weren’t allowed and we had to walk for a few minutes to reach the monastery and the viewpoint beyond it. We were the only two walking towards it while the rest of the tourists were heading back. We were hoping to get a good glimpse of the place while there was still some light. We managed to reach just on time panting, took a deep breath and enjoyed the breathtaking view. The cold winds blowing right into our faces swallowed the tiredness and exhaustion caused by the scorching heat of the day.

With a selfie break every now and then, engrossed in sharing our overwhelming joy for having made it this far in no time, we finally met Mahmoud and Adil at the same point where they left us earlier. They seemed cool and relaxed. Neither our delay in returning to the spot nor the fading light made any difference to them. Neither were we worried, as we were still stuck in the state of joyful inertia. 

But no sooner than we reached the foot of the hill, with hardly any light left (no sun, no moon, no street lighting, no mobile torch… ) to guide us through, the elephant in the room – the darkness – became more visible. It engulfed the vast lands of Petra. No longer can one distinguish between a mountain, a gorge, a cave, a rock .. It was all dark. A vast black blanket with no end and no beginning, unfolded in front of our eyes in seconds.

My husband and I switched to our mother tongue trying to give each other hope by assuring one another that these donkey masters must be carrying a small torch, to guide us till the exit. But we spoke too soon. Something very strange happened. Mahmoud hopped on the donkey I was sitting on and Adil on my husband’s. I was confused how to react. Should have waited and watched what happens? (Oh wait… what was there to watch, it was pitch dark) Should have asked him not to sit behind me?  Should have done this or that? But dumbstruck, all I did was, to say to my husband “Lets see where this goes… be ready for the worst”. That was how four blind people on two donkeys wandered the depths of darkness, with at least two of them unsure as to where they were headed.

For Mahmoud and Adil, it seemed like the most natural move, a business-as-usual.  For donkeys it did not make any difference except addition of a little more weight on their backs. You can imagine what all must have crossed the brains of the two strangers of the land. Never was I so blind in my homeland, even on pitch-black nights, for I could see a light of familiarity guiding me through unknown and uncertain circumstances. One thing was clear though, that Mahmoud and Adil were as blind as we both were and that the donkeys were the only torch bearers of the party.

I did not understand whether the donkeys could actually see the way, or they just remembered it ‘blindly’. I was awestruck by the skillfulness with which they were carrying us through the narrow gorges. There were times when my shoe would touch a side wall, and then I  groped with my hand to touch the side walls of the gorge we were passing through. That was it, that was the proof that the donkey truly knew where it was going. Yes, the donkeys were the only ones in that party, who knew the darkness, who saw through the darkness.

Mahmoud was equally talkative during our return journey, but something made him to dive into deep emotional conversations. Maybe it is the physical distance between us or just that the darkness made his invisible mask (which we all wear on our faces and hearts) to disappear. He talked about his family, his struggles, his father’s demise, how it left a vacuum in his heart, how they like sneaking into Petra and party under the moonlight ..so  on and so forth.

Within a few minutes we could literally see the light at the end of the dark tunnel through which we were passing through. As we bid farewell to the two masters and their donkeys at the exit gate, and started walking away, the pieces of puzzle seem to have fallen in place. It seemed as if our unplanned, unintentional travel to distant lands finally found its purpose and meaning. 

Wonders of the world may seem majestic, gigantic, and vast but true wonders lie in the lives of Mahmoud and Adil-likes who epitomized honesty, hard work, smartness, curiosity, compassion, and innocence. The wonder was that it took thousands of miles of journey away from home, almost three decades of one’s life to learn that donkeys are not what we think they are, but something else too… The imprint those donkeys left on me was not that of their screeching sounds, not their laziness, not even their menial mindless work but an impression of a smart ass..! Right now at this very moment, a smart ass might be sitting near you and you may be blind with prejudice to identity him or her… Go find those donkeys who can guide you through your darkness....  

Saturday, March 7, 2015

The Black - Forever Bright !

Black is as underestimated as colours are overestimated. Our incapacity to appreciate darkness, or rather face darkness, renders our lives incomplete.

It is the ‘day of colours’ today celebrated as ‘Holi’ in India and what other occasion would be more apt to reflect upon “black”. Black is a fascinating colour (if I may call it a colour, though it is not any one colour) with various shades. Science says black is a result of absorption of all light. It has all colours in it. It has everything, yet nothing. In spite of it absorbing all colours, we see nothing since it reflects nothing. Black has its own difficulties, lighter and darker shades since its inception on this earth.  

Over the centuries, black came to be associated with evil, death, unknown, taboo etc. Black magic, black comedy, black box, black day, black mail – are a few to mention. Of course, this is mostly a western notion of black. Its interpretation may differ in different cultures. Nevertheless, black is as underestimated as colours are overestimated. It did not get its due appreciation. We are too fascinated with the brightness of the world around us and yearn for colours. Our incapacity to appreciate darkness, or rather face darkness, renders our lives incomplete. Just as not all that glitters is gold, not all that is black is bad. Though there are many who love black; the fashion industry, Hollywood and Bollywood making the most out of its elegance, black is much deeper than what we tend to see. 

Life begins in the darkness of the womb of a mother. When we shut our eyes black is all that we see. There is no moon light without the darkness of the night. All the colours in the world put together, cannot match the beauty of a firefly in the dark. Darkness blurs the artificial barriers we humans built to differentiate and discriminate among ourselves. Darkness is egalitarian; it does not care about complexions, whereas colours are partial. The darkness of the night lulls the soul and gives us peace. Most importantly, the existence of darkness is the reason we are able to appreciate the so-called ‘colours’ so much.

Then why don’t we celebrate black? Why isn’t there a festival of darkness/black? Why should any bad day be a ‘black day’? Why should anything unknown including the ghosts and devils be associated with the darkness? Why all the taboos are black – as in black comedy? Why a black cat is a bad omen in many cultures?

I think it is because we sleep through darkness rather than exploring it. Not just in the literal sense of sleeping during the nights but we tend to silence various forms of darkness. We are afraid to face the darker side of our own self, thus giving way to hypocrisy. Mothers try to hide the worse qualities of their children. A society tries to cover its collective wrongs and project itself as something different. If we do not know anything, we put it in a black box. If we do not want anything, we put it in a black spot. This tendency of segregation is not allowing us to face the life to its fullest. That is why we find the need to ban so many things or black out so many ‘unwanted’ things.

We should remember that except for the natural darkness or absence of sun light, rest all forms of darkness we associate with black is purely a human creation. We associate grief to black, in order to highlight that grief is unwanted, uncalled for and undesirable. True, who would want to grieve? But grief is grief in the first place because we created something called happiness and value it more than grief. In addition, we falsely associate colours with happiness and black with grief, and try to avoid it, though both are our creations.


Black is for experimenters. It has every colour absorbed in it. Only those who experiment with it will be able to find different colours in it. It has everything yet reflects nothing. It is one’s own willingness to see through it, and face it, which reveals various shades of it. Black will remain that abstract nothingness which doesn’t give any concrete answers to our life questions. However, for those who look through and experiment with it will see its colours unleashing. Those shall realise that black is much beyond the superficial colours which reflect one single light. For them, black is confidence, black is elegance, black is bright and black is light. It is not that simple to comprehend ‘nothing’. History shows only a few were able to celebrate the darkness, celebrate the black and add more shadows to complete one’s life.